Until I was fifteen, my grandmother told me she was deeply affected by a revolution. It was cruel and complicated. In the early 1930s, the government decided to overthrow the landowners in the countryside. Moreover, the whole family was involved if the landowners owned a big estate. Husbandmen were empowered by the government, so it was legal to tyrannize the landowners until they handed over all the wealth. Therefore, some of the landowners died from this revolution, and some of them ran away with their family. Fortunately, my grandmother escaped from this tragedy. However, she had to leave her husband and daughter and begin a new life in my home country. Although this revolution is over, it has affected subsequent generations.
First of all, one effect has been the lack of contact with family members who live in the countryside. Last year, I met my uncle’s family who lived in the countryside. I didn’t even know how to call them. We had to introduce ourselves the first time we met, and then we shook hands with each other. Eventually, we had a connection by touching. We didn’t continue to talk. It was like we were separated by the wall. Also, we didn’t have contact with each other at all. For instance, my family often hangs out with the other relatives. We have dinner on some important holidays, and we usually talk to each other on the phone. If we are busy, we visit each other at least once a year. On the contrary, we don’t receive phone calls from each other. We don’t have dinner with each other. We don’t visit each other at all. As a result, we still are strangers even though we are relatives.
In addition, it is hard for me to explain the relationship between my uncle’s family and my family to other people. There is no doubt that the person who has consanguinity or connection with your family is your relative. Nevertheless, in my heart, they are like guests or friends in my family more than relatives. Once, I had a family interview from my teacher. When I brought her to my room, she saw them in the dining room. After we finished the interview, she said, “I am sorry to trouble you while you are meeting your guests.” I didn’t correct her because I couldn’t define the relationship either. Sometimes, my friends and I meet them on the street. They always ask me who they are, and my answer is always “some of my friends”. I don`t think of it as a shame. Actually, I feel guilty about my words, but I don’t know what the best answer is at all. Consequently, I find that the relationship between us is somewhere in a gray area.
Finally, it is unexpected when I find out the person who is always working for my family is my relative. When I was a child, I didn’t understand why my father referred to the housemaid as sister. Afterwards, my grandmother told me she was her daughter. She worked here because she had to support her rural family. I was shocked by that news, and I couldn’t give any reaction at that moment. From then on, I didn’t treat her as usual. For example, I tidied up my bedroom, and I washed my clothes by myself. I felt strange asking my relative to do these chores for me. Furthermore, I had to change the way that I used to call her. Unlike the past, I have to call her aunt now. It is hard to change because I was accustomed to using her name. Sometimes, I can’t help thinking what a complicated family I have.
Now, seventy years later, the revolution has become part of history, but it is not really over. It still influences generation after generation. I can’t image how hurt my grandmother was after she had to leave her family. This revolution has affected not only my grandmother’s original family, but also her new family. I have to take pains to deal with our relationship because they are not strangers, guests or friends for me anymore. In fact, they are my relatives and family members.
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