Between two Countries

While I was walking close to the end of the alley, I heard more and more cheering and laughing. Some children were playing in front of the house. This scene happens occasionally in my dreams. It makes me feel that I am still in China. However, back to the actual life, all the uncomfortableness and difficulties remind me where I am. My life in China was like a paper full of notes, immigration was like an eraser, and my life here is like a blank paper. I need to start a new life, and everything is new for me. When I compare the culture between US and China, I gradually find that there is the loss of translation, and it is hard to explain this to other people.

Praise can please people, but it also can embarrass people. My family and I experienced this when we just immigrated here. My uncle, who was raised in this country, praised my mother for her hair the first time they met. As a Chinese person, we should be modest if someone praises you, so my mother just replied to him two words “no” and “where”. This is a common reply in China. As she said this, my cousin was laughing. Meanwhile, my mother was expressionless. We were quiet for a while, and then my uncle said, “ It looks straight and bright.” I felt the smiles frozen on their faces at that moment. Hence, I told my mother just say “thank you” if someone praises you. Although this is a ordinary part in daily American life, it can be a new custom for Chinese people who just arrived in the U.S.

In addition, how to address the elder member of a family is important for the Chinese culture. I remember one time when I just got home, my cousin said, “ Yuan, can you drive me to the train station?” I know it is normal to call someone like that here, but I still felt a little strange when he called me. In China, it is impolite to do that if he or she is older than you in a family. For instance, you should call the elder siblings as brother or sister but not by his or her name. Especially in a big family, calling the elders’ names implies you don’t respect them. Also, only if the person is in the same age as you or older than you can call your name without any appellations. The appellations are complicated and difficult to remember. I believe this tradition will be lost by the next generation in this country.

A final difference is that we seldom appreciate between family members in China. However, it doesn’t mean Chinese people are impolite. We are too close to express thanks, and we usually express thanks from our heart. In Chinese culture, everyone has responsibility to help each member of a family, but the people here are totally opposite. They always say “thank you” even if it is a trifle. My family and I usually have dinner with my uncle’s family. Once, my father asked my little cousin for a drink. After she gave him a drink, she just stood there and stared at him. She blinked as she spoke, “You are impolite. You don’t say thank you.” Just like a mother was giving her child a lesson. My father replied with a smile, “I’m sorry, I forgot. Thank you, Carmen.” It was an embarrassing moment for us. For this reason, it is as if I have two lifestyles, one is the Chinese style at home with my parents, and the other one is the American style in the public.

On the whole, the culture is different between two countries, and it is the loss of translation that makes living in a new place difficult. The difference between US and China is not only the vast distance, but also the culture and customs. This is the most special aspect from one country move to another country. However, I still feel many difficulties to be fluent in this new country. I will never forget the years I spent when I was in China. Moreover, I have no doubt that the next years will be challenging in this new country.